Hey Sis, I’m Jennifer Arnise and…
I help black women heal the painful relationship with their mother by telling their story, creating healthy boundaries and expressing their feelings so they are able to create loving, nurturing and supporting relationships in their life.
I do this work because healing the mother wound is the most important work we can do as Black women. We deserve to feel valued, loved and nurtured and this happens through this work. I know the pain personally of feeling unloved by my mother and how it has impacted my life in so many ways.
I also know the relief and freedom I now feel because I committed to being honest about my experience with my mother, accepting her as she was and learning how to re-mother myself back into wholeness. It’s taboo and moral suicide to talk bad about our mama. Because of that so many women are suffering. It’s time to be open and honest so we can begin to heal collectively.
I knew every step along the way of my healing that I wanted to share it with other women. Even when I was my most depressed and even suicidal, I knew that if I could make it through I would use my experience to help other women.
I will always be a cheerleader for Black women’s mental and emotional health and wellbeing.
I feel like when ever I get a victory or revelation from the pain of my own experiences, it’s my responsibility to help another sister. The painful mother-daughter relationship is our first wound and it effects every aspect of our life. I believe sharing my own path to healing is the reason behind the painful experiences I’ve been through. It is the gift in my own trauma that keeps on giving. From my own life I know the power of opening up and speaking my truth. This is the first step in healing. Problem is, we are taught not to share our feelings and experiences especially if they make our family look bad.
My journey to healing the painful relationship with my mother began after I was violently raped at 17. I started therapy my in college to deal with the debilitating depression I was going through. To my surprise, instead of talking about the rape, I ended up spending the majority of my sessions talking about mother. I didn’t realize I had so many pent up feelings of anger and hurt towards her. It would be over a decade before I understood the impact that relationship would have on my entire life.
Just when I thought I had it all figured out, all my childhood wounds and trauma came to the surface when I became a mother. With a deep sense of wanting to make my mother proud and also not wanting to be the same as her I saw clearly how my relationship with her was still running my life.
During this time I also started implementing a powerful Spiritual practice. I felt like I needed daily and support. What started as daily “survival” techniques became life changing habits that got deep inside of me a way therapy never could.
I dove head first into various energetic and spiritual healing modalities that allowed me go deeper into my own wound and experience true healing that I couldn’t access in logical and traditional therapy.
My life has opened up completely since I started using this integrative healing method. I have been able to forgive my mother, learn to set healthy boundaries without the guilt and start reprogramming the negative messages I received as a child. Even though this is a life long journey, I now know I have access to more freedom in my life now that I do this work.
This is what I know for sure. No matter what you’ve been through or what you’ve done, when we do the work to heal our wounds we are able to experience the love, joy and passion we’ve always wanted in our lives. It may not come how or when we expected, but it can come fully to us.